For the first time I am speaking on Bella's Blog. My name is Chassey and I am her owner. She was over at a friends house Saturday for a few hours because I was out of town and needed someone to make sure she had supper and breakfast. She was outside playing in the back yard when she must have found a spot in the chain link fence she could fit though. I think she was scared and was looking for me. I got there as fast as I could and we looked all over for her. We had groups of people the next two days doing searches for her and even had Slade her best buddy trying to find her. I am beside myself on what could have happen. It was like no matter how loud I yelled her name nothing happen. Every piece of white paper in the distance got people excited thinking they had found her. For such a tiny creature she had many things against her last weekend. The weather was extremely hot. Being so small she would also get sick if her sugars got to high or low. I also fear that someone might have stolen her or a hawk or something could have been the reason she seemed to vanish so fast. There is a part of me that I have lost that I will never get back unless someday I am lucky enough to see her smiling face. Bella meant the world to me as I am sure all Bella's Facebook fans pets mean to them. Please give them that extra kiss tonight and treasure every second you have with your pet and with your family even if they are not the furry kind. Life has it moments you question and this will be one I will always question. What if I had not left for the weekend, or why did I not bring her with. I know I have to stop asking myself this because life has to many what if's. Thinking back to every moment I was able to share with Bella I would not trade one second of it no matter what was being offered. I found her in Chicago and was going though a really hard part of my life and she was my inspiration to stay strong and always keep taking steps forward and never go back. As much as I have wanted to crawl into a little hole and shut my mind off completely after this weekend I know that I must stay strong like I was when I first brought her home. I will always wonder where she is or what happen to her and I will never stop wishing that someday she shows up. Until that day comes or from this day forward I still want to keep her blog going. The first day she was missing I could not even come on here because I would just fall apart. It still is hard and makes me cry the second I see her sweet face or watch one of the many videos we made. That is why I will use this page to talk to her on days I miss her. I hope by doing this it helps me realize that you must keep going no matter how extreme the pain and sadness is. Also if anyone else out there has lost a loved one it is always good to know there is someone out there to relate to.
A special message to my Lil Bella...
I want you to know I never meant for you to ever be in harm. I surrounded you with soft fuzzy things and watched you every second you were not in my arms. Your little body all curled up next to me on my pillow will be forever missed. You were everything I ever could have dreamed of and you came at the perfect time of my life. I hope you will forgive me for not keeping you safe forever, losing you has been one of my hardest challenges in life. There will never be a day that goes by that me and daddy do not miss you, we do not know how to function right now without your little jingles and happy prances around the kitchen waiting for your next chance at some food. Bella you gave me something that is priceless and can never be taken away. I will forever have a piece of me that is missing and a special part of my heart that is only for you.
until next time that I come say hi to you Bella just know your always on my mind and in my heart.
Your Mom
Also I wanted to say a special thank you to everyone on Facebook and in my life that helped try to find Bella and gave me moral support. Some people I did not even know that well and they were willing to do whatever they could to help. It is people like this that makes this world a better place and it takes an experience like this to realize that there are people out there who are amazing.
One last thing to the person that was watching Bella that day. I do not want you to ask yourself any questions about what happen that day. The past can never be changed we just have to keep moving forward with what the future brings us. This coming from the person that asks myself about every 10 min what if I would have... But I know it only makes the pain worse and if your feeling even a portion of what I am feeling I want the pain to go away for you also. I know it will take time and the wonder of what actually happen will never go away but true friends are to hard to come by to let anything like this ever effect our friendship. I know you would have done anything for Bella. I used to believe the saying everything happens for a reason. Well right about now I am not liking that to much so here is another one.
Do not cry because it is over but smile because it happen.
I would never trade a second I had with Bella and consider myself the luckiest person that I was able to have her the time I did.
Thank you everyone for your time and for being a part of our lives.
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